


Living Nightmares

by SniperMoran



Series: Sebastian Flashbacks/Nightmares [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, Depression, Grief/Mourning, Hallucinations, Nightmares, Picture Fic, Post-Reichenbach, Save Me- Staind, reliving, suicidal Sebby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-06
Updated: 2014-08-06
Packaged: 2018-02-11 23:53:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2087763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SniperMoran/pseuds/SniperMoran
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first thunderstorm hits after Jim's little stunt up on the roof of St. Bart's during the Reichenbach Fall and Sebastian can't handle it. (WIP)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Living Nightmares

**Author's Note:**

> Note: I do not own any of these characters.
> 
> Hopefully the pictures will work, if not, I'll put a link to the original page in the notes at the end. It's the story that matters, but the pictures add to the story.

The pitter patter of rain on the window pane was almost relaxing, breaking the usual suffocating silence of the flat. The sniper lay face up on the couch, an unlit fag between his lips, eyes closed. Thunder crashed outside, lightning flashing and lighting up the disheveled flat. Empty bottles strewn across the floor, ashes and cigarette butts here and there, a flipped ash tray, a knocked over table, broken glass. He’d had another of his fits earlier that day, going around and just throwing anything that he could get his hands on. Another flash around the room, chasing away the shadows and the crack of thunder followed closely on it’s tail. The thunder made him jump slightly and his eyes flew open.

The fag dropped from his lips as he sat up quickly, eyes wide. Something was wrong, he could feel it. He wasn’t sure what it was but he jumped up from the couch and pulled on his coat and grabbed his phone and his keys. He practically flew out the door, dialing the first speed dial on his phone as he left the building, putting the phone up to his ear.

 

"Pick up you bastard, pick up…" he breathed, looking down at the phone. With no answer, he tried again, and again there was no answer. "Where _are_ you?!” he exclaimed. His heart stopped a moment then and he started to panic, making a beeline towards the hospital, shoving his phone in his pocket.

His eyes started to water and he wasn’t sure if it was from the wind in his face or from the feeling in his heart. There was something wrong. Something terribly wrong but he couldn’t quite place it. It was at the back of his mind, just out of reach. But he couldn’t shake the feeling that he needed to be at the hospital and he needed to be there  _now_. Rushing through the nearest alleyway as a short cut, he wracked his brain, trying to figure out what was amiss.

As he passed through the alleyway, he heard the sirens of an ambulance in the distance, shouting reaching his ears a moment later. This all seemed so familiar, so hauntingly familiar. Still, his brain wouldn’t comply with him, wouldn’t show him what was wrong. The sound of the sirens got closer, the shouting more frantic. His eyes widened and there was a flash of lightning overhead, the thunder rolling.

He dashed out of the alleyway, and upon reaching the street he saw the ambulance parked outside of St. Bart’s. Just sitting there. The lights weren’t flashing, but he could still hear the siren blaring in his ears. His eyes widened and he shook his head, still not completely grasping the situation. There was still something wrong, something was still….wrong. He closed his eyes.

That face flashed through his mind and he shook his head, opening his eyes just as another clash of lightning lit up the street around him, showing him that he was alone, but he could still hear the shouts, the cries of people in distress. He didn’t understand… Then the clap of thunder sounded.

The sniper’s heart stopped a moment as the images flashed through his brain, the sound of the thunder triggering something in his mind. That something wrong. But he still couldn’t quite….

"Jim…" he breathed, his body trembling, his heart pounding in his ears. It was like the whole world came to a pause as the memories hit him and flooded his mind. "Jim…." he whispered again, his heart aching in a way that it never had before. It felt like dying, or what dying must feel like. His eyes watered as he stood there in the rain.

The memories continued to flood in, taking over. He reached up, grabbing his head as the tears started to burn in his eyes with the memories, the thoughts, his head starting to hurt along with the rest of his body, his shoulders starting to tremble with holding back a sob.

"JIM!" he sobbed, finally letting the tears fall freely, mixing with the rain drenching his body, his clothes, the world around him, everything. It had been a hallucination. A nightmare. Jim was gone. Jim was—

His body grew weak as his sobs shook his entire being, his heart feeling like it was being ripped from his chest. He collapsed to the ground, unable to stand any longer, his strength completely drained at the flooding memories, having to watch as the man he cared for most bled out on the roof of a damn HOSPITAL. Of course…Jim had planned it to be ironic, no doubt. He was always good for those little twists. Sebastian, alone and cold in the rain, sat on the soaked ground, holding himself as his sobs tore through his body, his heart, the memories never stopping. “You _bastard_!” he shouted, staring up at the sky, blinking through the rain. “You never once cared, did you!? You didn’t care what would become of me!”

"SHUT UP! YOU’RE DEAD!" he growled, punching the ground, not caring that the skin broke, his blood mixing with the rain water on the ground. He gripped his head, shaking, trembling. "You aren’t really there….you aren’t here….it’s not real…" he breathed, squeezing his eyes shut. "You’re not real anymore…" he whimpered, his voice cracking. "You’re just a nightmare now…a dream…a thought…." He took a deep breath, opening his eyes and looking up. "A memory…"


End file.
